You Told Me You'd Always Be There And Eventually You Were
by thewarlockandtheshadowhunter
Summary: Set during Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. Hermione struggles to sleep after Ron leaves, but even if she misses him, how is she going to react when he comes back? All characters belong to JK Rowling.


_**"Loneliness is about the scariest thing out there." - Joss Whedon**_

"_**He's gone, Harry told himself. He's gone. He had to keep thinking it as he washed and dressed, as though repetition would dull the shock of it. He's gone and he's not coming back. And that was the simple truth of it, Harry knew, because their protective enchantments meant that it would be impossible, once they vacated this spot, for Ron to find them again." - JK Rowling, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows**_

* * *

They couldn't sleep, not without knowing the other one was only at the most an arm's length away. They had to know that the other was safe, it made waking up from the nightmares that much more bearable. Hermione could curl up into Ron's arms and they'd whisper reassuring words to each other, lulling them both back into as peaceful a sleep as they could manage.

Hermione barely slept when he left.

She tried to. However, she would wake up, crying and gasping for breath and she'd reach out for him only to feel the emptiness. It only made her cry more, made the air much harder to breath. He'd promised her. He'd promised her that he'd always be there. And thinking of the promises made the tears come thicker because he'd broken every single last one.

He'd always been her anchor. Harry was great, but Ron was always the one who she instictively reached for. That's why it hurt in fourth year when he made out as if she was second best. That's why it hurt in sixth year when he was with Lavender and wasn't there to hold her as she cried. That's why it hurt now, seeing and feeling the emptiness beside her and knowing he was gone. Gone for good, because how could he come back? There was no way for him to find them. He was gone. For all she knew he was dead, caught by death eaters or snatchers.

And she hated herself because she knew he was wrong for leaving, but in the moment when he'd looked at her before he walked away, she wanted to go with him.

For hours after he'd left, she'd walked through the forest, calling for him. _"Ronald Billius Weasley!" _She'd cried, _"You get back here right now! You promised me! You promised!" _She'd called over and over again, until her voice was hoarse and useless for days. But it didn't matter because he was gone and didn't hear a word of it. He didn't hear her call out how much she needed him, how much she wanted him to stay. She'd called out that she loved him, hoping that maybe he'd jump out and laugh and tell her to stop being such an idiot, that was his job, and to get back to the tent before she got them both into trouble.

When she finally got back to the tent she told Harry she could take first watch, that she'd wake him up when it was his turn. He'd looked reluctant, but had eventually handed her the horcrux and went to bed. She slipped the locket around her neck - a reminder of everything that had gone wrong, whispering to her reasons he'd left to try and make her snap - and sat at the entrance to the tent, brown eyes watching with a glimmer of hope. Waiting for him to walk back through the trees and tell her he was sorry and that he hadn't been thinking straight. Hoping he would come and beg for her and Harry's forgiveness, beg for them to take him back. She didn't wake Harry when it was his turn, waiting up all night in case Ron returned. He didn't and Harry hadn't been happy the next morning when he realised she hadn't woken him up for his watch. The lecture he'd been about to give however, died in his throat when he saw her tear streaked face, her brown eyes devoid of the hope they had held the night before. Just like he had in sixth year, he sat down next to her and pulled her close, letting her cry on his shoulder. Only this time Ron didn't arrive, then run away when she hexed him for hurting her.

"I'm sorry." Harry whispered finally, "But you know we have to..." They'd already been at the same site for days. They couldn't stay any longer, not without putting themselves in danger of discovery.

Hermione nodded, "I know." The whisper came out shaky and sounded more like a croak, but much to her surprise she'd actually gotten the words out. "I know." She repeated, a bit more forcefully as if she was convincing herself that it was true - making herself believe the words. "Can you pack up while I take down the charms?" Harry had wordlessly nodded, giving her shoulders one last reassuring squeeze before letting go.

They had moved a few more times since then and almost every night was the same. She'd wake up, gasping and crying and it would only get worse when she'd reach for him to find him absent. For the memories to come flooding back, forcing her to remember and accept that he was gone. She thought it would get easier with time, but it didn't. If anything it got worse and added to her nightmares.

She slipped out of bed and moved to the entrance of the tent. She tapped Harry on the shoulder, "I can take over." She whispered, not wanting to completely break the peacefullness of their surroundings, "You need to get some sleep." She held her hand out for the locket.

"You need to sleep too." Harry pointed out, not turning to look at her. "I know how hard it is for you without him. You need as many minutes as you can get."

Hermione shook her head. "I'm fine. Please, I just want to feel useful." She quietly pleaded with him.

After another few moments of silence, Harry sighed and took the locket off, reluctantly dropping it onto her outstretched palm. "Alright." He walked back into the tent. not wanting to admit how relieved he was that he didn't have to keep watch any longer.

Hermione sat down at the opening of the tent, reminding herself that there was no use in waiting to catch a glimpse of orange hair.


End file.
